2011 Years End

Well it is very close to being the new year and I thought that I would make a short post to end the year so I can begin a post in a brand new year. All fresh and rearing to go maybe? Who knows? It is very much a day by day thing with me. This is the last look at the Christmas tree, before it was quickly pulled down and packed away for another year. Or not. Might have a real tree next time, or even no tree if we go away for Christmas. Now there's an idea. I would love to travel to a cool, but not freezing place where we can all be relaxed, well fed and watered and enjoy the time we spend together. May have to out it up for discussion.



I don't make new year resolutions. I do write plans and list what I wish to achieve during the new year though. Not ready to share just yet though. The bloke and I sit down and go through our lists as we make both individual and joint plans.
You may have noticed some changes to the blog title. I am trying to make a new one but as I am a little sparse in the brain department due to the apnoea, (good excuse eh?) I have asked for some help. We are both still working on things but I hope that soon a very pretty heading will be up there.
I look around and see the most gorgeous headers and feel left out in that area.
So without further ado I want to wish my readers, family and friends the greatest of new years.
May all your dreams and wishes come true.

Cheers,

Merry Christmas

So here we are on the eve of Christmas 2011. A special day for our family as it is my third daughters birthday today. Emily, yes the girl of the car crash fame is 23 today. We are having a small soiree for her this evening with a few friends and some family. It is a tradition in our family, to see Christmas in this way. I love it because it is a way of seeing those who you might not be spending Christmas day with. Of course at this time of year it is one for looking back over the past 12 months, reflecting on the good times  and the bad, and there have been plenty of both around here. I am bracing myself for 2012 as there will be lots of exciting things happening of which I will talk about in the new year.
I am also grateful for my family in blog land who have enriched my life tremendously with the camaraderie and generous support. In my position it is often difficult to maintain real life friendships, however I do have a few special people in my life, and those people I cherish. However I have 'met' so many cyber sisters over the past few years that help add the jewels to my life.
I want to thank those who read the blog and comment and also those who read the blog but don't comment. I hope you get something from my ramblings.
I am going to sign of now  because the girls are arriving soon for brekky and I want to publish this before they arrive and my peace is disturbed.

Until later

Blessings,

Busy Times for All

It's been busy here in the past days. I don't know where to start so this post could start and end anywhere. On Wednesday of last week I had a phone call from our middle daughter Em who told me that at a quarter to five, and knock of time, she was told her role had been made redundant and she no longer had a job effective immediately. To say she was shocked is an understatement. Still she had felt for some time that she wanted to move on, just not that quick and without a more stable financial situation. I told her that she could pack up and come home, there were plenty of jobs here. So with that she started packing. As she has a small car she packed essentials and left the rest with her auntie to be picked up at another time. She also has a cat. Now we are not a cat family. I love them but I also love the birds who visit me on the tree outside where I sit all day. But in the circumstances, we couldn't make her give him away. So he was duly sedated (under vets orders) and packed into a crate for the long trip (approx. 1000kms) to home. She text messages me from every town, I ask that all my girls do that when they are driving. Anyway at about 3pm she called me to tell me something that I have always dreaded to hear. Mum Ivé had an accident and I hit a tree. My blood ran cold, and my heart skipped a beat. Before it hit me that if she was talking to me then she can't be to badly hurt if she is able to talk. Indeed, she had swerved to miss an emu and ended up on the graveled edge of the road, lost control of the car, skidded sideways across the road and ended up hitting a small tree. She was unhurt. I was so happy. The damage was great and the car undrivable so I called her father who borrowed a car trailer and some supplies and headed up top get her. She was by this stage about 300km's from home. She remained with the car all that time as she was worried that it might be stripped before it was rescued. Oh by the way the cat survived to in fact he was hiding under the front seat and it took a while to convince him to come out. They were home again by 1am, and the bloke had a few hours sleep before getting up again at 4.30am to go to work.
See told you it's been hectic around here. The below picture shows her Nissan Tida, worse for the wear. And the panel beater is nearly certain it will be written off.

As I most Christmas times I decide to make all kids of things both food wise and sewing wise. And as usual, I fail to complete said ideas.
The only things that made it throught this year are 1 cushion I made for a sister, 1 over sized lap quilt for another sister. My first ever batch of rum balls. These ones were called Dark and Stormy rum balls, as they had 1/2 packet ginger nut bisuits as well as the milk coffee, and a few lids of rum. The bloke made our traditional fruit cake last night and the smell was very nice permeating the still night air. We wont eat it yet as my eldest DD and I want to ice in so we get practice for her wedding cake.
Well yeah that's about it then, not much.
I am running out of energy now so want to leave it here and post this so you know I am still here.
Oh one last picture of me sewing the lap quilt I made with Bali Pops, my first time with using them, and they are gorgeous.

Till later,

Jan

Friday's Notes

Well its Friday again. How fast are these weeks going? I think its a case of I move slower than time passes. I am no where near ready for the forthcoming festivities, but then when have I ever been ready? I really don't have to cook anything but I am the supervisor in this place. I see to the overall buying, cooking, cleaning and arranging for the big family lunch. It's at our place this year. Our second eldest had wanted to do the whole thing at her place but in reality it is just too hard for me to access her house and then get a comfortable seat.
I know it is disappointing to others when their plans have to be altered to suit me, but there is little else I can do except stay at home.

He menu for the lunch is as follows: Baked, glazed ham, turkey, roast potatoes, pumpkin, carrots, gravy.
Dessert is trifle, fresh fruit and if our eldest can she is making one of her very popular cheesecakes.
All in all there will be plenty of food, laughter and a lot of noise.
We will have all five girls here this year, the first time in four years. I must try and remember to take photos.

On Tuesday I went into hospital to have my second iron infusion. I had to wait quite a while while they found the doctor to insert the cannula. He told me that my veins were hard to detect due to my size and also because I was quite dehydrated. I never realised I was. Anyway after two sticks he managed to get it in right and I was set up with the iron. Lucky for me it didn't take as long as the first time. It does get boring sitting there. Lucky the bloke is adept at packing some nibbles for me and a lovely sanga for lunch. But by 2.30pm I was finished. I thought I would show off my battle wounds. This is the first stick that didn't work. Pretty colour bruise eh? Does not hurt at all though.

The bloke does not like being exposed to the world so this is the only picture I am allowed to put up of him here. But I do it so that you know he is real and not a figment of my imagination. I know he almost seems to good to be true. For all the things he does for his family and especially me I thank him. As my mother would say he is a 'Diamond in the rough'. Yes mum he is. :)

Talk to ya soon,

Final Episode

I hope you weren't waiting with excitement for my next exciting post cos I was AWOL for a couple of days. I was not feeling like writing plus was lucky enough to have visitors.
But this story will conclude today so it may be lengthy. Or not. I will see how I go.


My experiences of being pushed in a wheelchair are mixed. On one hand I was so pleased to be able to go with the bloke into shops and other places without wondering if I would make it. Well in fact at this stage of my life I most definitely would not have. I can walk a few paces with a lot of puffing and groaning. It almost takes all my breath and I do become quite anxious. It is a most horrid feeling to struggle for air. I am also a little more anxious because for the few years before my mum died she suffered with emphysema.
Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, on the one hand I had the safety of the wheelchair. That is if you dismiss the blokes uncanny knack of pushing me into any object in our vicinity, but on the other this was all done in the public eye. The first day I was quite surprised by my lack of concern at the stares, glares and pure stunned ogles. lol This is a big thing for me. I tuned out of others possible negativity and tuned into the happiness of the bloke and I. He was also pretty pleased at having me with him. He often says he loves shopping but he wishes I was with him, as that would make it even better. Gotta love him eh?
It is quite confronting to rely on someone else in this manner. I worked for about ten years in the disability sector. First as a support worker, then co-coordinator of an agency and then later on as the executive manager. And although I had great rapport and empathy I did not fully understand until I experienced similar things. Like not fitting in some shop doors, or down the aisles.

Well folks I have been writing this blog post for the past three days. I just didn't have the energy to complete it in one sitting. Yes things are that bad. I am not happy to report that I am still having issues with overcoming the claustrophobic sensation of the masks. I am working on it with desensitising or flooding as it is also called. There is another thing I am doing but honestly I can not remember what it is. This is a legacy of the brain being deprived of oxygen. Not a good thing. My brain is so tired that it is shutting down on me. Memories, especially short term is very much affected.
So with that I will leave it all there.
I really must give in to this urge to nap...

Till next time....

Wednesday-Part 3

Hello

Well today we get to the whole reason we went to Perth last week. I was referred to the sleep studies clinic to see how bad my sleep apnoea was. There was no question if I had it; my symptoms  quite clearly showed that with extreme weariness, lack of concentration, memory loss and irritability.
 I first met with the sleep specialist, a man of few words. I was booked to sleep at the clinic on the Wednesday evening and had to report in by 7pm as the technicians have to put all the recording devices on you. From the top of my head to the legs I was plugged in and very uncomfortable. I was also laying on my back on a three inch foam mattress; it was a recipe for disaster. I only ever sleep on my side as I have back pain and also it is easier for me to breath. I was unable to turn over in this slim bed and so was in quite a lot of pain. The bloke thank god stayed with me all night. Actually the staff asked him to so that he could attend to my needs as they don't have nursing staff in the clinic. He was assigned the next room to mine.
 If anyone has had this test they will understand how difficult it is to sleep. There is also a camera above your head to record any movements.
I moaned and groaned all night, was not able to sleep despite the blokes best attempts at massaging my legs and feet which usually does the trick at home. I eventually sent him off for some shut eye.
I had to ring the buzzer three times as the pain was intense and worsening and I was getting anxious and feeling ill. At 3am I decided to get the technicians to call hubby back in. It was decided that as I was unable to sleep they could let me leave. I was happy with that. Apparently even though I thought I never slept a wink they assured me I had slept enough for them to take data.
I was informed at the follow up appointment on the Friday that my case was quite serious and that I stopped breathing 196 times an hour! They issued me a cpap machine which I am to trial for 4 weeks after which I then return to the hospital so they can decide on the course of treatment which will likely be me having to purchase a machine of my own and use for the rest of my life. The following images courtesy of Resmed show the woman with the full face mask on. This is the one I was most anxious about as I am claustrophobic and this one as you can see encompasses both nose and mouth. I was anxious and hyperventilating when the technician tried to put it over my face. I took it from her and placed it on myself which made me feel more in control so a lot less anxious. The other mask worn by the woman at the bottom is the nasal pillow.  This was less cumbersome but still a presence felt over the face. I had thought this would be the one to use for me but after trialling both I am not so sure. So now I am alternating the nights and working out which one is for me. This is very serious for me and the health consequences if I don't use the treatment are rather dire. I am giving it 100% effort and if it fails it wont be be for lack of my trying. the other pic is the cpap machine. It is very not to large and very quiet. FYI the original cpap machine was a vacuum cleaner in reverse mode. They sure have come a long way since then.

 
Well if your still reading good on you. Not to sure if this has been interesting reading or not but it is my experience and all that I find.
If your still keen I will be back for a final part and some exciting news, for me anyway. :)
 
Thanks

 
 

 

Part Two-Tuesday

Hi, as promised I am back to report on last Tuesday's activities. In the weeks leading up to the trip I had researched and located a business that hired out equipment for people with disabilities. I was able to book a large wheelchair and we were to pick it up early on the Tuesday morning. Of we set with map and address . Of course the search for the place was made that much harder by the ever present road works. The street we wanted was blocked by bitumen trucks so we had to detour, but with some good driving and detective work by the bloke we found the place and quickly loaded up the very large wheelchair. We then headed for the nearest shopping mall which was Westfield Carousel. Leading up to this day I had been very worried about how I would cope going out in public after a few years at home. I worked out that it had been about 7 years since I had been into a shopping centre. After sitting in the chair, I made sure that my skirt was covering my legs so that no-one would be affected by a flash of my brilliantly plump legs.

pic from bariatric product catalogue


I steeled myself for the expected looks, comments and rudeness. As we bumped across the car park (yes we had parked on the outskirts of the car park as the ACROD bays were all gone I wondered if the bloke was going to tip me out of the chair or get me run over. We made it to the doors and as they slid open my senses were assaulted by the noise, smells and visual smorgasbord. We were in. First stop was the chemist where I purchased a new pair of sunglasses. My reasons for doing this was I had misplaced my sunnies and I felt that if I wore the glasses it would help shield me from the stares. Yes a bit of ostrich like thinking there. ha ha.

 Then I saw that they stocked the toiletries that we use so we bought those before heading further into the mall. Of course I noticed that people were staring. I expected it but the surprising thing for me was that I was so happy to be out and about buying able to buy some things for myself. The magazine kiosk with racks of colourful goodness drew me in like a moth to a flame. So much choice. I was in heaven.

 The bloke pushed me from one end of the mall to the other and the poor thing he did a great job as it was hard work to push someone so large. I couldn't get over the amount of food stalls in the food court. The blended smells of various artery hardening products made my stomach to flip flops. After a couple of hours or so I asked the bloke to get me out of there. The noise, the piped Christmas songs, the crowds, the hustle and bustle the overwhelming plethora of shopping temptations had taken its toll. Oh and when we went into the Telstra shop I was left unattended when I was sitting right in front of the counter waiting to be served. The young man didn't appear to see me or the bloke standing there. He looked to the young girl behind us and asked her if he could help her. I was stunned and turned to look over my shoulder and then saw the look on the blokes face at the same time as he muttered we were here first. I am not sure thought whether he genuinely did not see us, or if he was put off by the site of the fat, middle aged woman in a wheelchair. Never the less when he served us he was business like and helpful. Turned out he couldn't help us as I had not taken the ipad in with me. Oh well that happens.

The medical appointments were to follow later that same day but I will leave it here as I am shutting down in the brain department now.

So until tomorrow, take care and thank you for your interest.

Part One-Monday

Hi I have returned. I have so much to tell. However to prevent my news becoming bigger than a novel I will break it down into different parts. Please don't get too excited, it's not the stuff of nail biting climaxes, rather some observations on my experiences.
To start with the tip to the city was as expected. I was only in the car for fifteen minutes when the pain started. The knees, feet and lower back were all pinching me very unkindly. Panadol offered no relief. There were quite a few stops so that the bloke could lift my leg out of the car and allow me to stretch it. I am so grateful for his help. My legs have lymphodema and they get worse when stuck in the car like that, very swollen and harder to move them.

Anyway we made it to the city but before we booked into the motel we had to head toward the city to pick up my ACROD permit. For those not in the know, ACROD is the organisation who organise the permits for those who have a disability of some sort to access buildings.
It took us ages to locate then find a car park in this busy suburb, but finally we had my permit. The only reason we had to pick it up was that they did not send me a renewal and so had to be reissued and it was easier to pick it up.
After unpacking the mountain of stuff the bloke went in search of a few supplies as this unit was not self contained and we needed to buy brekky and snack foods and fruits.

It was so good to stretch out in the cool of the air conditioned room.As I pondered on the upcoming appointments I wondered how I would cope with the wheelchair I had arranged to hire. I have not been able to access shops or anything much for some time and in fact we think it is about 7 years or more since I have been inside a shopping mall.

Stay tuned for part two, hopefully tomorrow, but please forgive me if I don't post as I am very tired.

Be back real soon

Just a quick shout out, I'm on my way soon. Car is packed to the roof, it's been filled with fuel, and even better the weather is lovely and mild. So without further ado, I will say adios and see you soon. If I get Internet access I will try to post an update, otherwise will do a full rundown when I'm home again.
Thank you to all the wonderful readers who take time to leave me a comment. Your words really give me a lift, and make me feel I am worth listening too.

Thanks

Bye

My Nest

Hi Folks. Well I don't know why the page looks like this but I sent a picture from Picasa straight to the blog, instead of using my usual system and this is what I got. Not bad but it would not allow me to write where I wanted to. Never mind though as long as it allows me to publish the post.
The reason for including the above picture is because I am becoming more brave and less concerned about what others think of me. And when I say others I don't mean any of my regular followers or readers.
I'm referring to those people who take it upon themselves to judge and make comments, intent on causing upset. These people are everywhere and whilst I am stealing myself for my upcoming trip to the city and my medical appointments, and the inevitable queries, comments, negativity and plain hatred.
I am going out into the public in a wheelchair and it is the first time that I have been into places for many, many years.

The above photo is me sitting on my large, comfortable sofa that is my nest from the time I awake until it's time to go to bed. "My Nest". I liken it a bit to Big Birds'nest in Sesame Street. This is where I use the laptop and do my sewing and quilting (note: quilt over arm of chair). I even eat here. It's just so easy as it is the most comfortable chair in the home.
That window is great for looking out off. From there I can see the lovely hanging pot plants, and the little tiny birds that visit looking for small insects and bugs. I love it when they start sing, it is a real privilege that.
I tell myself nearly every day that I will go out and sit on the patio in the sun for a while, but each closes with me not making the trip.
Well folks that state of dissconnection may change soon so stay tuned to this space.
What is everyone up to this Christmas?

Just a Moment

                Due to a lack of my own pics: blinks.of.life


Well things have been ramping up around here. Getting ready to go to the big smoke. I do like to take my time so I don't forget anything. I hate last minute packing, makes me anxious. The Bloke infuriates me because he opens up his bag on the morning we leave and walks around casually throwing in his clothes, and he always packs more than me.

Anyway, have had the weight of the black dog on my chest this week, but have had a couple of break through days, and today is one of them. I can smile again. And I even find myself laughing at old episodes of The Pink Panther.
The sun shines on those days and my heart is again filled with hope for the future.

Anxiety wise things have been challenging. When I think about money, travel, non-productive days, I get a real panic situation. I use the tools I know to calm myself, including deep breathing, and the accept and commit strategies with varying results.

Had a visit from my GP last week and she tells me that while I am no longer anemic I still require another iron infusion, which will happen after I get back from the trip. Hopefully then I may experience some energy increases, just in time for the festive season.

Okay, this is it. I am not procrastinating any more today. Once I log off the laptop I will finish the cushion project I am making as a gift to a family member. Then I can pick up the lap quilt I am making for another family member. Whew, I do it every year. Put enormous pressure on myself to create sewn gifts for giving.

Take care fellow blog readers. I really appreciate it when you read and when you comment, it means a lot to me.

Ciao

A Quick Update

I'm here for just a short post tonight as I am very tired and can barely keep my eyes open. Things have not been going well for me. Nothing new really just a worsening in some areas. I wish the appointment for the sleep studies was closer. I want some answers to my prayers. I figure if I get some sleeps under my belt then I will have the energy to go onto the next thing in reclaiming my life.
But not as it was, but an even better one.

I was fortunate to have some visitors from a local community group this week and we discussed some ideas to get me socialising with other people outside and inside the my home. Of course I am more for the in home to start with due to feeling comfortable here and not being very mobile. I guess that is something for me to work towards.

When they left I felt a little excited, apprehensive but looking forward to seeing what happens.I think I will leave it here, I know it's short but really I am struggling, I know you will understand. :)

Thanks for reading. 

Hello readers. Today is the first day I have felt like blogging since last week. Yes low energy issues. I am still awaiting to hear from my doctor about blood results. I don't think the iron infusion fixed my aneamia so think more will be in the pipe work. I say bring it on, I need to feel alive again.
On another note I have finally managed to organize accommodation for my upcoming appointments in the big smoke. The bloke and I wanted something bigger where we cook our own meals and spread out more, however a months of searching I was unble to find anything that suited our requirements. They were either too expensive, too small, had steps and stairs, too far away from hospital or already booked. In the end we settled on the motel we have stayed at a few times before. Not much going fitpr it except it is clean, has a large disable friendly bathroom and we are ble to park right outside.

This day 27 years ago...

 

Blink.of.life



In St Mathews Church

Boulder

On the 3rd November, 1984

The Bloke and I were hitched

and today we have been

married

for 27 years.

Apologies for the blurry photos, we had to take a picture of a picture, as we don't have any loose copies. 

So young and ready to take on the future together. I was a youngish bride of 20, and the bloke 5 years older. Not as young as my mother though who was married at just 17.
But if your expecting a dialogue filled with what I have learned through the years about what makes a successful marriage, sorry no can do. Why? Because I don't know.
I fear that when we are very old and wrinkly some television reporter might ask us the secret to a long and happy marriage. I don't think I will know by then either.
It's just a matter of placing one foot in front of the other. Oh and maybe humour, yeah you need a good sense of humour, otherwise don't even try it.

Catching up with a cuppa

                      Image:Blink.for.life

Hello folks. It was a public holiday here in Western Australia yesterday, for the Queens Birthday. If your reading this and your not in Australia then you probably wont know that her majesty is visiting our country and has been in our own state since Thursday. She is in Perth to open the CHOGM 2011. This is the commonwealth heads of government meeting, a biennial summit that occurs in different member states.
But you have not come to visit for a history lesson and I am not one to teach so I'll leave it at that.




Well on my home front we have had kids coming, going, having surgery and I have been organising my forthcoming trip to the big smoke AKA the city. First our eldest girl has returned from an all expenses paid trip to Bali. A friend of hers won the trip for three  and decided take my girl as well as another friend. They had a ball by the sounds of it-sipping cocktails, having honey massages and more fun things. The next daughter left for her trip to Cambodia and Vietnam last night and we are hoping she is okay. I do worry when they travel afar.
The youngest girl went to hospital yesterday to have four wisdom teeth and a recalcitrant baby tooth removed. Before you ask yes I was nervous. Can't help myself :)

                             This is similar to what I will be having

Now to my stuff. I mentioned in previous posts that I need to have a sleep studies test done to ascertain my exact problems. Early indications show that I have too much carbon dioxide and not enough oxygen which as you can imagine is not doing my health any good at all. If things go okay then I might be returning home with a machine that is supposed to allow me to breath properly and allow me to sleep properly and awake refreshed and ready to seize the day. I hope so. I am expecting a lot from this appliance. Hope it doesn't let me down.




However to go do this test takes major organisation skills, which for the most part I have, but it also takes energy and on that front I am sadly lacking. I had another blood test yesterday to see if the iron levels have improved, but going by the way I feel I think not.


Anyway first thing is I have to find accommodation that suits my particular needs and budget.  I need to be able to park  outside the place we choose as I am unable to walk more than a few paces, and after travelling for approximately 8 hours I will be struggling to move, let alone walk. Then must find a bed that looks strong enough to support my weight. A bathroom that is clean and large enough to accommodate the shower/toilet chair I need to take with me. We prefer to self cater but this type of accommodation alludes us so far. I have been searching for weeks to find something better than a box like motel unit. It is hard to find anything much under $200 per night which is a bit high seeing as we have to be there nearly a week. 
Yes, life as a fat woman is challenging to say the least and I am reminded all the time that I am outside the normal.

One thing that may be a positive is that I have found a place that hires equipment to people with extra needs so I hope to hire a wheelchair. This will not only enable me to get to my appointments but means that for the first time in about 10 years I will get to go into shops and not have to sit in the car for an hour or more waiting for the bloke to to do the shopping.

I admit to being apprehensive though. Firstly because sitting in a wheelchair feels odd. Then there is the other issue of being a fatty ++ sitting in a chair being pushed along by the bloke. The looks and comments will be there, so I am trying to toughen myself up now to cope with the whole deal. I want to be able to sit there and enjoy being out in the public, accessing what many take for granted. It is my own anxieties that will dictate my experience so if anyone has any anti-anxiety tips please share them.

Well if your still reading you must be truly interested in me and my little twittering so thanks.

I am working on some sewing stuff but there are no pictures as yet. I have made 26 star blocks for an up and coming quilt but need to find some fabric for the borders.


Until next time take care,

Breathing is good for you

I am a list maker. Are you? Don't quite know what the appeal is but I have done it as long as I can remember. I can recall a time when I was a teenager of writing a list of all the things I would buy and do if I won the lottery. It wasn't lotto like we have now, but you bought a ticket, something like the golden casket I think it was called, and if you won, then a lot of money came your way.
Sadly I never won anything. Of course I didn't buy a lottery ticket either, but there was no harm in dreaming.

So today it was shopping list writing day. This is where I try and come up with a weeks worth of meals that all three of us will eat. Right....that's where the problems start. The Bloke and I are similar in what we eat, so we can come up with some meal ideas easily. But the problems start when it comes to the girl. She has a very small eating repertoire and so unless it suits we find we are just two eating.

The Bloke is a great cook and he is so happy to potter around amongst the pots, pans and pantry. 

On another note, I am still not feeling the affects of the iron infusion. I had hoped to be hopping around by now, but not to be. But it still might happen. The doctor told me if the next blood test is low then I will have to repeat the procedure and that is okay with me as I just want to improve my health.

I am in the process of arranging my next months visit to the city for the sleep apnoea tests and treatment plan. Trying to find decent accommodation at an affordable price is like finding hens teeth. There is a scheme called PATS, which assists country folks who can't access medical treatment locally to attend Perth. They pay you some fuel money and $80 per night toward accommodation. As I am way past the backpacker style it is going to cost us significantly more. I need the Bloke to come with me as he is my support. I am really hoping the tests result in me being able to have a treatment plan that works for me.

 This alone will go a long way to helping me. Currently my body is not getting enough oxygen so has too much carbon dioxide. This is not a good thing. But one thing I have doing in order the help myself is learning to breath properly. Many people don't use their lungs to their full capacity. Rather they shallow breath. Anyway without sounding like an expert cos I'm not, I inhale as deeply as I can then exhale slowly, trying to take deeper breaths each time. I have notices since this that I am not as puffed and have not used my inhaler. Coincidence? I think not. So I am going to keep at it.

chat more next time, hope all is well in your life.

Friday Chatter

                    Photo from blinks.of.life

Well Friday is here again. I'm not sure why but I like Fridays. It could be from when I was a working girl and it signal led the end of the week and the start of time off to be spent relaxing, catching up with family, BBQ's, seeing the bloke.
But even though I have not worked for a few years I still get a little buzz. :)
I got out of bed for the second time at 9 am today, after an earlier arising at 4 am. It feels quite luxurious to lie their drowsy and drifting off to sleep just because I can.


DD is still asleep, she was watching movies all night. Wish she would wake up, I want some company, had enough of myself now.


The week has gone quite quickly, and this week I had a nice surprise when an old friend, who I haven't seen for approx. 14 years came to visit. We caught up on the kids, she has three, and are similar ages to mine. She doesn't look any older than when I last saw her. We will now keep in contact thanks to Facebook and mobile phone. Boy do I love technology, it makes it so easy to stay connected.
I received news from my doctor yesterday that my vitamin D levels are now within normal range at 60. :) previously they had been below 20. I was pleased as I have been taking vitamin D supplements for about 9-10 months I think, and now I have proof that they can and do work.

Not that I'm feeling tops yet, but that is due to the other major problem.


Oh and one very special event occurred on Monday. My nephew and his wife welcomed the arrival of a son. Older brother Kye was pretty excited to get a brother too. I made this orange, zoo animal quilt for the baby.

The quilt I made for the new baby



Okay I will end it here as I am getting weary again. Talk to you all soon. Oh and if you can do me a favour and leave a brief comment as I would love to know if anyone reads my blog, come on don't be shy. :)

Iron Maiden

Good afternoon folks

I thought I would post about my little procedure yesterday. We awoke a little later than we had hoped to. After a fitful sleep I prised my eyes open to see it was nearly 6am. As I am quite slow moving,especially in the mornings, I didn't want to rush. Anyway after a shower, a quick toast brekky, we set of for the hospital. Upon arrival we soon discovered that the 'larger' than usual wheelchair we loaned from the hospital Occupation Therapy Dept. was too small and what was worse the feet plates would not move to allow my feet to rest below me in a lady like fashion.
Picture this if you can; then again if you are easily shocked, perhaps not.
Here we are the bloke and I right out the front of the A & E Dept. of the hospital,where the admissions is also located, freezing wind blowing on us, people arriving for work, and this fat woman jammed into a too small wheelchair legs akimbo pointing toward her ears, voicing her discomfort in a rattled, manner. Yes this is just another regular day in the life of this author.
I was embarrassed, ashamed and verging on tears when the bloke, god bless his little heart, decided to raid his toolkit in the back of the Statey (our pet name for our Holden Statesman car).With his trusty wrench he managed to adjust the feet plates and off we went to the day surgery, a little late, but there all the same.
After being checked in and assigned a corner of a room, I choose what I think is a most comfy chair for the duration of this procedure. However after only half an hour I discover that it's not a good fit, and so I move across the room into another not big enough chair, but at least my feet touch the ground.
Finding chairs that can accommodate me is a huge problem for me and one of the major reasons I don't go out.


Anyhow although I was required to report to the unit by 8am it is nearly 10am when the a doctor comes and tries to insert the cannula into the back of my hand. I say OUCH here, but this is not what I was saying under my breath. I have had quite a few of these large needle things over the years but this was the most painful. After pushing and pulling she gave up, telling me that my vein had blown. Oh naughty vein, why did you do that? So she had to use another site. This time there was a short sharp pain and luckily it was in. The nurse came along soon after with the life force serum-iron infusion and put it on the drip stand. They ran it very slowly something like 45 drips per hour. I received 2 grams of iron, which they told me is not the norm so it was going to take quite a while, and it did, as I left at  about 5pm. A long day for me and the bloke who stayed part of the day with me.
In the afternoon I had two day surgery patients join me and we began the usual chatter, reserved for roomie strangers. You know-what are you having done, is that an iron infusion? Oh that looks painful. It's amazing the instant bonding that can occur in this situation. Telling complete strangers the most personal matters. I experienced that yesterday. One woman introduced herself and within 15 minutes had told me about her religions beliefs, her husbands sacking, what she did for a living, her relationship status and her previous fiancee, and that she had not long returned from an extended overseas holiday. Whew!
Of course when someone shares such intimate details with me, I nearly always feel that I need to reciprocate and disclose some of my own personal information. Does anyone else ever feel like this?
Oh. okay, might just be me then. *blushing*.
Don't get me wrong, I love making new friends, and she was a lovely friendly woman but something was saying take it easy here, she seemed quite exuberant.
One thing that did annoy me was my reaction at the usual interest shown by people toward my size. Two staff members and the friendly woman all asked if I had considered WLS. When I told them that I had already put myself through that mutilation and it had failed me, they all suggested other types if self mutilation. Why do people offer these 'helpful' ideas? 
 The super friendly lady asked me the most silly question, not new to me, but silly all the same "Have you always been this big?". Now really what does she mean? What is always? Since birth? When?

I was disappointed that I did not have an answer ready for just this occasion. I have come across many good comebacks in recent months but I don't remember them at the time.
To answer the friendly ladies query I told her no I just grew this big. *shaking head*. 

I feel okay today but they they tell me the full affects of the transfusion will be felt in three to four weeks. I am optimistic that this will work and it will give me the boost I need to take the next step in regaining my health, firstly by resuming my exercise (walking with my walking frame on side verandah), and undertaking the sleep study.
Surely these will help me? I am feeling quietly calm, very tired but optimistic today.
It has been some time since I felt this way. I am grateful.

On an aside, I was in the same ward and even bed area that my
dear mother was in when she passed away last August. I didn't work that out until I was leaving the unit. The room bares no resemblance to the one mum had been in. It has been made over to the day surgery unit now and the palliative care patients have their own unit.
I did feel a sense of calmness and harmony whilst sitting there. Maybe mum was looking out for me? I like to think so.
Images from blinks.of.life

Take care people,

Feeling thankful

 
Just a quick drop in to say that I am all set for tomorrow morning's

iron infusion. I intend to enjoy every last drop, of the life giving juice. I send thanks to the kind person who donated it so that others can use it.
We got the results back of my blood tests and lets say that the bits we could read make for thrilling reading. Some very low levels there which explain many of my current challenges.






Anyway, I will let you know how I get on.




Take care

Sleepyville

I am trying to post using my ipad2 and it is a little different to using my laptop, so if this ends up looking a little stranger than usual you'll know why. (Okay this is now me on my laptop as I can not figure out how to put pictures up via the ipad2).

(The following was Saturdays chat)

Today has been quieter than usual, and I never thought that was even possible as I spend many lonely, quiet days on my own. The young one was at work the old one, sorry I meant to say the bloke was out shopping and then once home he planted himself firmly in front of the Telly to watch the football, sadly his team lost.
I had a little nap, not refreshing when you have a blocked nose thanks to a head cold. Oh well its getting better I think.

Had a mini tidy up today. I have been telling the bloke that I was missing some stuff from my sewing. "What stuff" he asked. " Ahh... my sewing stuff". "like what", "um dunno but if you find some sewing stuff and then I'll know". Ha ha. Yeah I know; the logic of a goldfish!
Anyway he carted a few bags and baskets out and lo and behold what do I spy? The stuff I was missing that I could not even name, but it was a good find. My bag patterns because I have a hankering to make a bag after a friend showed me the pile she has made. And then I came across the pattern for a star quilt that I have had in my mind to try for months and months.

So after than delightful find I now need to stay awake long enough to do it.
As regular readers might know I have often written about my tiredness and not so good health. And the last two months have seen me hit the bottom of the barrel. Sleepiness so bad that I am unable to read my books, sew, since completing the last projects. I sit here on my couch nodding off all day. I have been awake since about 2am.


There are various reasons but one major one is sleep apnoea, still awaiting my appointment in November to sort that one out I hope.
But my other major issue is anaemia. I want to put in a TMI alert here in case some people don't want to read about my plumbing problems.
For many years now, I have been having trouble with my periods in that I bleed very, very heavily and can do so for months at a time. This has led me to be anaemic. I can not take the iron tablets, so a couple of weeks ago my doctor finally suggested I have an iron infusion. This is happening on Tuesday 27th, next week, and never have I been more excited to have a great ruddy cannula jabbed into my arm. :)

If it helps me I will be a very happy woman. Some other symptoms of anaemia are restless legs, extreme sleepiness, headaches, memory loss, breathlessness. I can hardly manage to walk from bed to my dining room some days. I struggle to get enough air, it truly is atrocious.

The biggest question is why hasn't this been offered to me before?
So I was just coming in to say hello and keep you up to date on my little world. I am ever hopeful that things will change for me and I can stop whingeing so much. I don't like to suffer in silence.

Take care,