Thursday, August 25, 2011

Early Morning

(Photo:Blink of life)

Howdy folks. It is 4.07am, and yes I am obviously awake to write this. :) It was not my choice. I have been having a week of shocking pain and sleep issues. I hope the end is in sight as I am sure I will go crazy if not. I will probably need to get to the big smoke for yet more tests so that eventually I get my CPAP machine which I hope will solve my sleep issues, and the other health issues that brings.
It is so bad lately that I have been only able to do little bits of sewing, reading anything really.
I finally completed sewing the binding down last night. *sigh* it has only taken me two weeks. But it is done and after taking some time to admire the hard work it is destined for this sweet girl.

She wants it known that she helped with the making of this quilt, in that she traced the shapes, chose the fabrics, cut out and ironed the applique onto some of the blocks so that I could do the rest. It was a great help.
So plans for today? My doctor is visiting me this morning. Last time she came she had her beautiful baby with her, such a cherub.
Then I may head out in the car for a drive, although with the way I am feeling right now, that may change.
The bloke also asked me to do some sewing with his work clothes. He wants me to sew the shirt fronts up so he doesn't have to undo the buttons all the time. And then there is a button to sew on. I told him I don't do everyday sewing, but because he is the best bloke around I will, I mean I owe him big time. He is the major encourager with my sewing and quilting. He told me to buy sewing machine of my dreams. You gotta love that.

So it's been a long time since I heard from people, so tell me what your plans are for today.

Until next time,

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Being Kind to yourself

I've been tuning in to ABC classical radio and it is proving to be quite refreshing from my usual radio station. Quite beautiful in fact and something very much needed at the moment. I need the serenity it makes me feel. So much has being going on in my little world. Nothing too exciting really, but still draining and wearisome. I have been doing a real number on myself for some time now and it has got to
the stage where I am about to put up the I surrender flag. By this I mean I have not been kind to myself or for that matter not as nice as I could be to others around me either. It has gotten me exactly nowhere but further into the dark abyss that is my depression.

So in accordance with the law of the universe that says when it is a beautiful, sunny, bright, full of potential day, one must be happy, smiling and content. I am. Just for the day though, and then I will see where I go from that. No promises. I am not accountable to anyone but myself. Much less pressure that way.
I have been trying to finish some projects and this has been one cause of my frustration. I am chronically tired so am only able to do things in small time increments. This is very annoying as I have the habit to rushing into things and wanting to get things done last week. Part of a much bigger problem I have. Anxiety/depression are the bane of many peoples lives including mine.

The battle has been big this year, and I am trying to cope the best I know. At the very least I am still here to be counted.
I have frequent visions that I rise from my self imposed nest of comfort AKA the lounge and walk into my kitchen and wash the dishes. I think of it at least three times each day. Then after that I clean the benches; removing every last crumb from every crevice. Then I clean the oven and cook top. Did you know it is good Feng Shui to have a clean cook top and oven? Yes apparently this is the money corner in your house. Heard that on 'The Morning Show' this morning.
Mundane thoughts you are probably thinking but for me they mean I am back participating in my life again. Trying to carry some of the burden that has fallen largely onto the blokes shoulders and to a much lesser extent my youngest daughter.

Some people reading this might wonder at my laziness, but truly I do have a rather major mobility issues that prevents me moving around much and I am unable to stand longer than 2-3 minutes.
But the dream of having my hands in a warm, soapy sink full of dirty plates fills me with hope. (Yes I am easily pleased). I do have a dishwasher, but the need, yes need to wash dishes sits in me. :)
I want to feel productive to the household again and not be a burden. It is not a good place to be that's for sure.

And get this. On Monday night I made a lemon cake. Yes I did. Of course the ingredients were bought to me but I did the rest. Why you ask? Well the bloke, being the kind, generous person he is listened to my ravings about wanting a decent mixer seeing as I had never really had one. So he went out and purhased the one I had researched. I made a great deal with out local electrical shop bloke, who knocked off quite a few dollars seeing as he only had one colour in stock. Red! Be still my beating heart. I love red. It looks so flash. 12 speed, very quiet compared to the thumper my mum had, 3 attachments-whisk, mixer and dough hook and it's motor is a 100 watt more powerful than the sought after Kitchenaid mixer. I am rapt.

Mine is the  Kenwood Patissier which I present to you below. I love that it is all metal and not plastic. I love that the 4 litre bowl has a hande on it. Of course my cake didn't turn out perfect. I read the recipe as needing two cups of flour but it was really only one. So then I bunged in more flour, more sugar, more lemon chucked in some coconut for good measure. The cake had hardly any taste but it was not too bad, and served with cream it was quite eatable. Next time I will stick to s tried and true recipe and not one that I found on the net. Oh and by the way I have no affiliations with the makers of this mixer. :)

Well folks that's it for today, need to sew whilst the energy is there, it won't last.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

12months today

Hello mum. It's 12 months today since you left us. It was early on the Friday morning that your long struggle ended. I am still caught up in the aftermath of losing a loved one. The disbelief. Wanting the phone to ring, to hear your voice just once more. To ask that question that only you would know the answer to.
Ringing your number knowing that you will never again answer.that is what chokes me. It is so bloody final.
Till we meet again.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Blossoms & Bells

Almond blossom in out yard

Good morning Blossoms (that's you the reader)

Check out the blossoms above. I just love them each year when they come out. The tree was given to us by the blokes sister when we moved to this house and it has grown to an object of great beauty. The cockeys that arrive each year ensure that we don't get to eat the almonds, but we don't mind, being able to see it is enough. And we have plenty to eat. :)

Bells I purchased from Oxfam

Today I have to get onto some of my projects that have been lying around unfinished for no other reason than procrastination. Oh and a huge dose of weariness. Turns out I am severely anaemic and so I commenced taking iron tablets this past Friday. I do hope they work as my energy levels are barely registering.
It's funny the bloke has a condition called haemochromatosis, which is too much iron in the body and me and three of my daughters have low iron deposits.
I was chatting to my middle daughter today. She lives in a small coastal city some 12 hours drive from us. It seems despite just landing herself a job she really likes she is home sick. She has been up there about three years now and loved it initially, but now the novelty has worn off she has discovered that she wants to be closer to family and her friends. She would love to live in Perth where she has many friends and some family members. It is just 4 hours drive from where she currently lives.
Oh the choices we make. What to do eh?

On another note my eldest daughter called me this morning to ask if I want to go for a drive to check out her new rental place and get a coffee. Oh yes please I said :) I have not been out in over a month I think. The back was giving me grief today so popped pain killers and that has settle down now, thank goodness.

This is my eldest girl with her pound puppy Jessie

I have included a pic of me that was taken by the bloke
 through the window. I didn't know until I downloaded them.

Well that's it folks.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Wordy Wednesday

Hello on a cool, but sunny afternoon. I wanted to come here and post to get myself into the habit after a long time of not regularly blogging. I know there is one young lady living in Perth W.A who eagerly awaits news from me. So in an attempt to please her and perhaps amuse some others here I am.
Now I would like to have come to you with exciting tales and all, but I simply don't have any. This is partly due to me not getting out of the house, and also because I struggle with the idea that someone else could be interested in the ramblings about my life.

To date I have managed to stay relatively safe with my writting; not quite brave enough to divulge all of my personal information. I mean there are some things that one should keep to themselves.

For years many years but especially since 2008 I have been dealing with some major health problems. These have led to me becoming dependant on others to assist me with day to day care. One major area is personal care. Our house is ideal for most people, but not so much if your on the big side. Actually not just big, but fat +++.
The ensuite shower I used was/is a case in point. The builders of the place obvioulsy designed it on the 'small person model'.

But for me the narrow doorways and the boxy shower stall were a real problem. The bloke removed the shower stall earlier on but we were left with the bricked hob. Of course as my mobility decreased so did my ability to walk over it. It was a major safety hazard and one that made me nervous as a fall for me could mean very serious consequences. Anyway a few months back, the bloke, with sledge hammer in hand went in and knocked out the hob and retiled the area with leftover tiles from a previous renovation thank goodness for over-ordering. :) Below is a pic of the bathroom with a flat floor no more hob to clamour over. Still needs to be finished in regards to installing a new wall basin and tiling to be finished. I want a pretty bahroom that is user friendly for me. Oh and on a small budget.

 Now if money and space was not an object the following bathroom would be something I would consider.

Now below is what my bathroom might end up looking like. Mostly because it is quite a small room approx. 2m x 2m. The toilet is in the same position as ours is. However whilst this bathroom is certainly disabled friendly, it is rather utilarian, and I will insist on much more prettiness. :)

Furthermore I have a problem buying shoes. I have lymphodeama in my legs, left arm and my right foot is very swollen and prevents me from wearing my lovely shoes, so they are packed away in boxes. I don't actually have shoes at present that fit me, further preventing me accessing the outdoors. I can if pushed manage to shove on some vinyl slides that can be dangerous as they become slippery when wearing them. So I am barefoot, but not pregnant!I was looking at these online but without trying them on it is hard to know if they would fit. It is very hard not to be dispirited. My obstacles seem almost too much. And yet I go on. Hoping for a miracle, but knowing I need to create my own.

So as not to leave the post with such a tale I will finish with a colourful little blob about the quilt I have finished, albeit the binding. 
I think there will be some people who read my blog thinking hasn't she shown that pic before. And I would tell them great memory folks. Yes I have feaurted this pic before and wanted too again as it is my blog and I love how this looks. I am teaching myself to hand quilt and have a way to go before I can call myself competent. But I am enjoying the process. My stitches look less like grains of rice and more like rats tails.

I hope any one reading my blog finds the material worthy of reading.
I will endeavour to come more often, let me know how you think I am going if you get time.
Any ideas welcome.