Mad Saturday

It's been very quiet around here for a while now. I am wondering if anyone is reading the blog now. I guess there have been times when I don't blog and I know people can lose interest quickly and go on to other more scintillating blogs. Gee I will be the first to admit that my posts are from exciting. Life for me is fairly pedestrian and it seems that unless I have a major illness there is not much to write about. But all is good folks. This blog is serving as a diary to remind me and future generations about what I and others got up to. Has anyone else seen the offers of turning your blog into a hard copy record? I am so tempted and one time I even went as far as filling in the blanks and seeing what my book could look like. The problems started when the photos wouldn't load as they were too large. Despite one of my DD's best attempts we could not get them small enough to use. So that was left alone.
But one day I do hope to proceed with this project so the generations ahead may have an idea what we were about.


Saturday afternoon here and apart from music playing in my D'D's room as she and her sister get ready for the mad hatters party they are attending tonight. They have spent the morning baking rainbow cupcakes, making a lovely fresh tray of crudites and dip and also the favourite party food of cob loaf with a lovely dip. Mmmm, no luck at getting a look in there-they are strictly for the party mum!
I'll take some photos when they are all dressed up, I'm sure they will look great. 


On sewing matters I have been sewing some small projects this past week. A lovely friend named Lesley was the catalyst behind my getting back into sewing again. She makes these pretty owls and now I can too. So far I have made three. One tall one and two shorter.

Do you know what a collective of owls is called? A parliament. Yep odd isn't it? My DD looked it up on google last night. Who knew?

These were pretty quick and easy to make which is why it helped me get back into the swing of things. I am still to tackle the scrap booking projects. I am reluctant to start for fear that I may make things look ugly. I can be so clueless at times, but once I get going I'm okay. 


Actually, now that I come to think about it there has been a lot happening here. I finally got the courage to get on the scales again after quite a few weeks. You see I have been doing a fair bit on non-hungry eating and thought that I must have put the weight I had shed back on. Thankfully I hadn't and I was also another kilo lighter. So all up since the January health scare I have shed about 24 kilograms. Of course I wasn't that happy as I could have lost even more had I adhered to my original plans. 
That's the odd thing with my weight issues. Because I have so much to loose, the small losses never feel like a victory to me.
Additionally it has been very hard on my family who get to hear my shenanigans as I bemoan all the things I shouldn't eat, the restrictions that cause me great anguish, the doubt every time I put food into my mouth. The thing I find most interesting is the tighter the restrictions the more I tend to focus on food. I wake up thinking about what I will eat. After I have eaten the food then I feel almost bereft, knowing that the joy I felt is such short lived and I now need to wait a suitable time before getting to do it again. I probably shouldn't be admitting to these behaviours however as this is my blog diary it might be helpful to look back on one day. 


Anyway, if there is anyone out there reading this blog can you send me a sign please.
O know you read this Coley so drop me a line some time eh? It get's lonely here.




Take care,


Jan

Being Kind to yourself

I've been tuning in to ABC classical radio and it is proving to be quite refreshing from my usual radio station. Quite beautiful in fact and something very much needed at the moment. I need the serenity it makes me feel. So much has being going on in my little world. Nothing too exciting really, but still draining and wearisome. I have been doing a real number on myself for some time now and it has got to

the stage where I am about to put up the I surrender flag. By this I mean I have not been kind to myself or for that matter not as nice as I could be to others around me either. It has gotten me exactly nowhere but further into the dark abyss that is my depression.

So in accordance with the law of the universe that says when it is a beautiful, sunny, bright, full of potential day, one must be happy, smiling and content. I am. Just for the day though, and then I will see where I go from that. No promises. I am not accountable to anyone but myself. Much less pressure that way.

I have been trying to finish some projects and this has been one cause of my frustration. I am chronically tired so am only able to do things in small time increments. This is very annoying as I have the habit to rushing into things and wanting to get things done last week. Part of a much bigger problem I have. Anxiety/depression are the bane of many peoples lives including mine.

The battle has been big this year, and I am trying to cope the best I know. At the very least I am still here to be counted.

I have frequent visions that I rise from my self imposed nest of comfort AKA the lounge and walk into my kitchen and wash the dishes. I think of it at least three times each day. Then after that I clean the benches; removing every last crumb from every crevice. Then I clean the oven and cook top. Did you know it is good Feng Shui to have a clean cook top and oven? Yes apparently this is the money corner in your house. Heard that on 'The Morning Show' this morning.

Mundane thoughts you are probably thinking but for me they mean I am back participating in my life again. Trying to carry some of the burden that has fallen largely onto the blokes shoulders and to a much lesser extent my youngest daughter.

Some people reading this might wonder at my laziness, but truly I do have a rather major mobility issues that prevents me moving around much and I am unable to stand longer than 2-3 minutes.

But the dream of having my hands in a warm, soapy sink full of dirty plates fills me with hope. (Yes I am easily pleased). I do have a dishwasher, but the need, yes need to wash dishes sits in me. :)

I want to feel productive to the household again and not be a burden. It is not a good place to be that's for sure.

And get this. On Monday night I made a lemon cake. Yes I did. Of course the ingredients were bought to me but I did the rest. Why you ask? Well the bloke, being the kind, generous person he is listened to my ravings about wanting a decent mixer seeing as I had never really had one. So he went out and purhased the one I had researched. I made a great deal with out local electrical shop bloke, who knocked off quite a few dollars seeing as he only had one colour in stock. Red! Be still my beating heart. I love red. It looks so flash. 12 speed, very quiet compared to the thumper my mum had, 3 attachments-whisk, mixer and dough hook and it's motor is a 100 watt more powerful than the sought after Kitchenaid mixer. I am rapt.

Mine is the  Kenwood Patissier which I present to you below. I love that it is all metal and not plastic. I love that the 4 litre bowl has a hande on it. Of course my cake didn't turn out perfect. I read the recipe as needing two cups of flour but it was really only one. So then I bunged in more flour, more sugar, more lemon chucked in some coconut for good measure. The cake had hardly any taste but it was not too bad, and served with cream it was quite eatable. Next time I will stick to s tried and true recipe and not one that I found on the net. Oh and by the way I have no affiliations with the makers of this mixer. :)

Well folks that's it for today, need to sew whilst the energy is there, it won't last.