Friday, August 6, 2010

Mama is fading

I write this post with a heavy heart. My dear little mama is in hospital nearing the end of her life. I knew this time would come but the closer it approaches the more I realise that one can never be fully prepared for it. My mother has that dreaded smokers disease emphysema. Now of course any death is traumatic, but this particular one is nasty. To sit and watch, helpless while she struggles for air is nearly indescribable. She is scared. So are we. The doctors tell us it could be hours or it could be days. So we wait. When the phone rings I steel myself for the blow. I cry. I cry a lot. Every time I try to talk about her I cry. I am known as the sook in the family. I admit it I am.
But do you know what my people, freinds etc they are worth a few of my tears.
I love you mama and will miss you and your matter of fact manner.


  1. My thoughts are with you at this time.

  2. Jan, when it comes to Mum's you are allowed to be a sook. I know exactly how you are feeling. When I watched my Mum deteriate in hospital I felt so useless and sad, knowing I was losing my best friend AND I sobbed my heart out. She passed away 4 years ago and I still get choked up when I think of her.
    Know that you are not alone and my heart goes out to you.