Sunday, August 5, 2012

Sunday Night

Hello lovelies. Gee I always think I will come back and write a new post every week, but I just don't get to it. But I am here now and happy to let you know that I am feeling better this week. Of course it's always a day by day thing and luckily this week is not too bad so far. I even attempted some sewing yesterday. I have been wanting to make a small quilt for a gift for some time and finally got the 5"squares sewed together and even the sashings   put on when I realised that I had a made a fatal error which of course led to another big error-I call it the domino effect. Needless to say early this morning whilst the household was still asleep, I sat on my chair unpicking the seams. I see it as my penance for making the mistakes. 

We're still waiting on the arrival of the stork. My poor girl is feeling quite fed up now and is just waiting for the baby to make his appearance. Those last few weeks really drag don't they? She is much more stoic than I was. At the first hint of pain I was off up to the maternity ward, only to be sent home again. Oh I am so glad that is all past me, I can just enjoy the grand-kids now.

I added the above photo as I love the vibrant colours of the orchid. This is one of my brothers plants, he has gardened all his life and it very good at it. He recently moved and has purchased a most perfect home in a lovely suburb of Perth and he has reduced the garden a lot. He has health issues that mean he does not have the stamina he once had.

You may be wondering why I put a picture of me at the top of this post. I did it as I become more comfortable with exposing myself. Of course I mean that in the nicest sense, I do have a little decorum. :)
It's my way of becoming more visible. Early days yet but I'm working on unleashing myself into the public arena. I say to myself that I have nothing to fear, but truthfully, I lack the confidence necessary to withstand the expected taunts and shaming that I have endured in the past...why are some people intent on making others feel so shit?

Anyway, this has been a bit of a mixed post, but at least I am still here and keeping on.
I am feeling better than before.

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to comment, it is very welcomed. One thing though, many of you don't have an email I can reply to, so if this has been overlooked by you you might want to change your settings so I can email back.

Thanks friends,


  1. Hi Jan

    Those orchids are stunning! Not long to go now re your new grandbubba you must be so excited!



  2. I love hearing how much you are looking forward to the arrival of your grandchild! I hope your daughter will be ok with you posting the name and weight of the bub when s/he arrive! I love hearing those details.

    I hate having to unpick and restitch things. I have had to do that with more cross stitch designs than I care to remember!

  3. I think self-acceptance and putting yourself out there are extremely difficult, but a big part of slowly internalizing that you are worthy of being taken care of. As long as we hide ourselves and fear looking in the mirror (or seeing photos of ourselves), we act on the thought that we are disgusting and not to be seen.

    You are beautiful, and people who say horrible things that make you feel poorly do it because they hate something about themselves and need to use you to elevate their poor self-estimation. This is their weakness, and their problem. They are small people with a small sense of self. Don't let their damaged state damage you. Easier said than done, I know, but my getting out there despite how I was treated was the beginning of the process for me in making long-term changes. I hope it will be for you as well.