How to get motivated

Motivation. Do you have any? I need some, and sooner the better. It's been especially short of supply since I have up paid employment. With all the time in the world to get things done, or not as is the case for me, there were no time limits, no deadlines to meet. Having a jovial, easy going husband didn't help me keep my previous standards up. Laid back Larry, as I call him, didn't seem to mind when the bills were paid as long as they got paid. Likewise for the meals, as long as there was food in the house, something could be made. So that brings us to an important reason why I need motivation. My health. Yep, the same old thing I've been banging on here about. And everywhere else, much to the frustration of some people I'm sure. I seem unmotivated to work toward changing habits that keep me in this vortex of hopelessness. 


I had a visit from my doctor yesterday and among various checks like oxygen saturation, blood pressure and pulse she asked me if I had managed to make an appointment with a psychologist to work on getting motivated. I had to tell her no I hadn't. I have felt unable to make the call that will supposedly lead me to becoming motivated. Now, before some people think that I am being hopeless and non compliant, I want to explain that seeing therapists is not something new to me. I have been in and out of therapy for well over 10 years; not continual I hasten to add, but sporadic episodes of enthusiastic beginnings which inevitably end with me feeling not much further along in the road. Yes I then feel like I have failed. Both them and myself. I feel a sense of shame that I didn't get it, whatever 'it' is. Well not enough to make the changes necessary to fix my weight problem. I guess this is why I am hesitant to go this route again. I fear failure. 
Today I have made a call and left a message for the preferred psychologist because my doctor told me she wasn't coming back to see me until I had; a great incentive I think.


 She needs to be tough with me.


Another of my tasks is to sit outside on the patio for a while, to overcome the anxiety I have about going 'out their'. And she wants the photographic evidence of said task. Geez she is a funny lady.


So that is tomorrows challenge. I am thinking there will be some who read this post thinking what is she going on about-not going outside. But that explanation can wait for another day and another post. It's all part of the terrible fear off falling.
So with that all said I think I am done with today's ramble. And I also just thought that ig anyone has any questions relating to any content on my blog please email me. Depending on the request I may or may not answer you.
P.S I have just has a txt message from an old friend to arrange a catch up tomorrow. A perfect opportunity to attempt the patio sitting event. I'll let you know how I go, and if the pic looks okay I might even let you see. :)


So until next time,