I had a visit from my doctor yesterday and among various checks like oxygen saturation, blood pressure and pulse she asked me if I had managed to make an appointment with a psychologist to work on getting motivated. I had to tell her no I hadn't. I have felt unable to make the call that will supposedly lead me to becoming motivated. Now, before some people think that I am being hopeless and non compliant, I want to explain that seeing therapists is not something new to me. I have been in and out of therapy for well over 10 years; not continual I hasten to add, but sporadic episodes of enthusiastic beginnings which inevitably end with me feeling not much further along in the road. Yes I then feel like I have failed. Both them and myself. I feel a sense of shame that I didn't get it, whatever 'it' is. Well not enough to make the changes necessary to fix my weight problem. I guess this is why I am hesitant to go this route again. I fear failure.
Today I have made a call and left a message for the preferred psychologist because my doctor told me she wasn't coming back to see me until I had; a great incentive I think.
She needs to be tough with me.
Another of my tasks is to sit outside on the patio for a while, to overcome the anxiety I have about going 'out their'. And she wants the photographic evidence of said task. Geez she is a funny lady.
So that is tomorrows challenge. I am thinking there will be some who read this post thinking what is she going on about-not going outside. But that explanation can wait for another day and another post. It's all part of the terrible fear off falling.
So with that all said I think I am done with today's ramble. And I also just thought that ig anyone has any questions relating to any content on my blog please email me. Depending on the request I may or may not answer you.
P.S I have just has a txt message from an old friend to arrange a catch up tomorrow. A perfect opportunity to attempt the patio sitting event. I'll let you know how I go, and if the pic looks okay I might even let you see. :)
So until next time,